It is possible to conditionally distinguish several types of rejection, all of which, to a greater or lesser extent, make the school life of the rejected child unbearable.
- Ipalara (do not let pass, call names, beat, pursuing some goal: revenge, have fun, etc.).
- Active rejection (arises in response to the initiative coming from the victim, they make it clear that he is nobody, that his opinion means nothing, make him a scapegoat).
- Passive rejection, which arises only in certain situations (when you need to choose someone for the team, accept into the game, sit down at a desk, the children refuse: “I won’t be with him!”).
- Gbigboya (they simply do not pay attention, do not communicate, do not notice, forget, have nothing against, but are not interested).
In all cases of rejection, the problems lie not only in the team, but also in the characteristics of the personality and behavior of the victim herself.
According to many psychological studies, in the first place, children are attracted or repelled by the appearance of their peers. Popularity among peers can also be influenced by academic and sporting achievements. The ability to play in a team is especially appreciated. Children who enjoy the favor of peers usually have more friends, are more energetic, sociable, open and kind than those who are rejected. But at the same time, rejected children are not always unsociable and unfriendly. For some reason, they are perceived as such by others. A bad attitude towards them gradually becomes the reason for the corresponding behavior of the rejected children: they begin to violate the accepted rules, act impulsively and thoughtlessly.
Not only closed or poorly performing children can become outcasts in the team. They do not like «upstarts» — those who are constantly striving to seize the initiative, to command. They don’t favor excellent students who don’t let them write off, or children who go against the class, for example, refusing to run away from the lesson.
Popular American rock musician Dee Snyder writes in his book Practical Psychology for Teenagers that we ourselves are often to blame for the fact that others put “labels and price tags” on us. Until the age of ten, he was quite popular in the class, but when his parents moved to another block, Dee went to a new school, where he got into a fight with the strongest guy. In front of the entire school, he was defeated. “The death sentence was handed down unanimously. I became an outcast. And all because at first I didn’t understand the balance of power on the site. ”
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