Awọn akoonu
A sọrọ si family psychologist Natalia Varskaya.
Reason 1: High Expectations
For example: I wanted to go to Spain, but I only have enough money for Gelendzhik or Anapa. And that’s not it at all…
What do you need to do to make sure you enjoy your vacation? Write down your strengths and weaknesses on paper. Two columns. In the left one, you honestly write, for example: “I don’t have much money.” Think about this phrase. You set the amount that you can allocate for vacation. And you admit: 1) you will have to proceed from this amount; 2) pleasure during the holidays is not very dependent on money. Many travel on a budget, even with tents, and are satisfied. Everything is inside us: what kind of mood a person brought on vacation, he will spend time with such a person there.
– What if the weather is bad? It does not depend on the person.
– We must agree with ourselves once and for all: if we cannot influence some things (weather, natural phenomena), we must stop reflecting on this. Shower? Go to the pool. Is there a pool nearby? Look out the window and understand: the downpour will not last forever (of course, if you foolishly did not choose to travel to Thailand during the rainy season). I must say thank you already for the fact that you breathe on vacation is not at all the same air that you have in a gassed city. We must eventually acquire the habit of being grateful for everything.
Reason 2: Never found love
For some, vacation is the goal to find a companion, but he/she is still not there.
– In fact, you don’t need to give yourself any plans for a vacation, you don’t need to wait for fateful meetings. Let it be. Moreover, women who are looking for a rather unpleasant look – with an evaluating look, as Gosha said from the movie “Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears.”
Reason 3: Interests don’t match
For example, a woman decides: “I will do everything in a way that will be more interesting not for me, but for my children, my husband …” At a campsite near Astrakhan, the author ran into a family that has been traveling from Chelyabinsk only there for 13 years! The husband is fishing, but the daughter and wife simply do not know what to do …
– There is one of two things: either relax and have fun, or protest. Firstly, the wife can try to fall in love with this fishing, get carried away herself, by the way, this is really an exciting thing. I had a case when my wife was so involved in fishing that her husband could no longer drag her away. If you do something for a loved one, do it with joy and voluntarily. Nobody needs victims. Is dad going fishing? Good! And my daughter and I – to the resort. No money for a resort? Let’s calculate How long it takes for me and my daughter if we go with you near Astrakhan, and try to meet the same amount by going to another place.
Reason 4: Contrast between holidays and work routine
It’s bad if a person returns to an unloved job, because people miss their favorite job even on vacation, despite the most vivid emotions.
– Well, if the work is unloved, you need to find something that will personally captivate you. For example, a hobby: you will expect that you will finally go dancing on Wednesday or doing floristry on Thursday. Then there will be no such contrast between a vacation where you did something and a routine.
– There is such a common advice: in order to avoid post-holiday depression, you need to return a few days before work …
– It has a rational grain, but not for everyone. For someone, on the contrary, it is easier from the ship straight to the ball.
Reason 5: No money left
For example: after a vacation, I wanted to buy good perfume for my wife for her birthday, but then it turns out that more was spent on vacation than they were going to.
“Let a person mope about this, it’s okay!” This is an objective thing: when there is no money, it becomes sad. You can advise to distribute the budget, but not everyone, alas, can learn this. We must accept: there is no money now, but there will be later. You can review the photo from the vacation: here, they say, how beautiful it was here, which means that the money was not wasted. Although … there is a risk that someone will look at the pictures and think: well, why did I squander my hard-earned money on this ?! It’s just that some people like to sniff and be dissatisfied with everything. This is their way of being. They have such an empty pastime that they fill it with negativity, otherwise they don’t understand what else to talk about with people.
Bi o ti le je pe
“One of my clients went to Africa with a group of friends,” says the psychologist. – And he posted himself on social networks: here he is against the backdrop of a waterfall, here against the backdrop of a picturesque cliff … And then he told the truth: it’s all about Photoshop, with which he removed huge lines of tourists before and after himself. And I also tinted the water blue (in fact, it was cloudy). Here is a picture on the internet. So do not rush to envy photos and admiring stories on social networks!
Leveraging the positives
– At the very beginning, speaking about high expectations, we painted on paper the pros and cons of the upcoming vacation. And so it ended. Is it possible to apply the principle of paper after a vacation?
“Paper is a useful thing. Let’s say a person is upset after a vacation. He sits down and writes in the left column what the negative happened. For example: “Everything was boring.” In another column, what was the use of the vacation, for example: “One evening I met a snake tamer.” And then let him think about how to use the positive moments. Someone, maybe, will write about it on the social network, someone will draw a picture – and discover the artist’s abilities in himself. Someone will begin to study the area in which he was deeper. You need to extend this positive feeling further into your life.