Awọn akoonu
While your child has just returned to school, only one question is “stubborn” to you: has he made friends and girlfriends? In our society, being extroverted and surrounded by friends is rather valued, while conversely, people of a more reserved or solitary nature are less well perceived. Spontaneously, parents therefore generally want to know that their child is the “star” of the recess, friends with everyone, comfortable and “popular”.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, not everything always turns out like this. Some children are less sociable than others, or are so differently.
Boyfriends in childhood: a question of character
Instead of putting pressure on the child by constantly asking him if he has made friends, and thus pointing the finger at the fact that it is not “normal” for him to If it doesn’t, it is good to wonder about the child’s “social style”, about his character. Shy, reserved, dreamy … Some children like to play more alone, or in pairs, than in groups, and prefer small interactions to the “mass effect”. They are more comfortable with one or two children they know, rather than a whole group. And after all, is it that bad?
If your child is shy, keeping telling him that he must reach out to others will not help, on the contrary. Better play down this shyness, why not by telling him that you too were shy (or another member of your entourage, the important thing being that he feels less alone). And outlaw negative sentences, especially in public, about his shyness. Encourage him to overcome it, with small challenges which will be commended later, is a less culpable and more constructive approach.
“My child is never invited to birthdays …” The advice of the shrink
In class, birthday invitations are flowing… and your child never receives one. And that makes him sad! A situation not easy for him… Angélique Kosinski-Cimelière, clinical psychologist in Paris, gives her advice to resolve the situation.
>> We try to find out more, for example from the teacher. How is it at recess: does our child play with others? Does he get rejected? Did something in particular happen? Is he shy? If so, we can help him work on his self-esteem. He is then encouraged to give his opinion. We compliment him on his successes. We encourage him to reach out to others, to decide as well.
>> We play down. To reassure him, we explain to him that parents cannot invite too many children for a birthday because they have to be supervised and have enough room to welcome them. But that doesn’t mean his comrades don’t like him. Here again, we can start from our example: our friends sometimes also have dinners without us. And sometimes it’s another friend who isn’t invited. “We can also plan a nice activity that he likes to do that day, like going to eat a pancake, for example,” suggests Angélique Kosinski-Cimelière. Or offer to invite a classmate face-to-face to create stronger bonds. He may then wish to invite him in turn. We look for other sources of friendship through activities such as judo, theater, drawing lessons… And then, we remind him that real friends are often made when we grow up.
Dorotee Blancheton
Bii o ṣe le ran ọmọ rẹ lọwọ lati ṣe awọn ọrẹ
It would be a shame for a child not to form friendships during childhood, because these have an important role for his future adult life and can bring him a lot of things.
Rather than forcing his child to go to a birthday party if he does not want to, or to register him against his will in an extra-curricular activity, we will prefer to offer him toinvite a friend or two to come and play at home, on familiar ground.
We can, in consultation with him, choose an extra-curricular activity in a small group, such as dance, judo, theater… The links that are created there are not the same as at school, in a more supervised environment.
If he is shy, playing with a slightly younger child (neighbor, cousin or cousin for example) can help him gain confidence with children his age, by placing him in a position “ large ”.
Finally, if your child is “precocious”, instead enroll him in activities where he is likely to meet children “like him”. For example in a chess club if he appreciates this game, science, precision manual activities, etc.
A child may also have few friends on a temporary basis, due to a move, a heartbreak or bullying at school. Listen to his feelings, and do not hesitate to talk to his teacher to find solutions together.