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It would seem, what’s wrong with having fun and relieving stress? However, according to our author, sex without commitment is a dangerous trap for women.
«I was hoping I had a chance at a relationship»
Holly Riordan, journalist
I slept with you because I didn’t believe the words «I don’t want a relationship.» I thought you were just as afraid of getting burned as I am, and that’s why you hide behind a lie. I was convinced that even if you don’t really want commitment, you will change your mind. Our closeness during sex will take possession of you and make you look at me differently. You will surrender to feelings just like I did.
I slept with you because I couldn’t get you out of my head. Since you didn’t want a real relationship, casual sex was the best option. I wanted to be close to you, to touch you.
I wanted you to be mine, at least once in a while. Even if you were only mine for tonight
I slept with you because I thought I could handle my feelings. Even if nothing comes of it, I will gain experience. I’ll have some fun and dispel my boring life. I didn’t expect my emotions to get out of control and I would desperately want to be with you. This made it even harder to come to terms with the fact that you are not mine. I am just one of many for you.
I slept with you, although you openly admitted that you were not looking for anything serious: your actions said otherwise. Your actions showed that you are ready for a relationship and want to be with me.
Your actions convinced me — in the end I will become your girlfriend, even if it takes time
I slept with you because you confused me with conflicting signals. You said you didn’t want to date. And after that he sent messages, hugged me and whispered secrets in my ear. How could I believe that I mean nothing to you? How could I consider myself just a sexual object, your plaything? Your actions proved that you like me as much as I like you.
I slept with you because I was crazy about you. I was hoping sex would help drive you crazy too. Sex really means something to me. I did not believe that our naked bodies intertwined, but without causing feelings in you. I thought sex would be the solution — turn you from my friend to my boyfriend. I agreed to sex without commitment, because I hoped — I have a chance at a relationship with you.
Why do we agree to such a relationship?
Valentin Denisov-Melnikov, psychologist, sexologist
What is sex without commitment? This is sex without love, relationships, emotional intimacy, that is, just a physiological process, the satisfaction of sexual desire. However, people usually do not get satisfaction from such sex.
When physiological discharge is not accompanied by emotional and psychological, instead of a feeling of satisfaction and relaxation after intimacy, there is a feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness of what happened. This is typical for both women and men.
In addition, a woman may feel used, which causes unpleasant emotions.
At the same time, emotions play a huge role in female arousal. When sex is not accompanied by love and warmth, it is difficult for a woman to experience even bodily pleasure: there is no necessary mood and pleasant experiences, there is no desire to unite with a partner. In such cases, difficulty in achieving orgasm is likely.
Men in relationships without obligations are attracted to the following points:
The opportunity to have more partners, since sex without a relationship is usually sex for several times.
There is no need to spend time, effort and money on wooing and winning a woman.
With casual relationships, you don’t need to try in bed: it doesn’t matter to a man whether his partner likes sex and whether she wants to repeat it.
For a man, the emotional component of sex is not as important as the physiological one, and in sex without a relationship, they get exactly what is more important to them.
More possible partners. A girl for a relationship must have many qualities that are important for a particular man. If people meet only for sex, the level of demands drops sharply. Enough desire for intimacy and acceptable appearance.
This cannot be said immediately about all men who prefer sex without commitment, but most of them do not know how to build relationships, are not ready for responsibility and make adult decisions, avoid intimacy and, most likely, did not have warm relationships in childhood.