Awọn akoonu
Remember the proverb: «Tell me who your friend is, and I’ll tell you who you are»? We propose to change it a little: «Tell me who your friend is, and we will tell you if you should continue to communicate with him.» After all, bad friends are not only traitors, liars and manipulators. We tell you who should take a closer look.
Ọ̀jọ̀gbọ́n ní Yunifásítì ti Kansas Dókítà Jeffrey Hall ṣe ìwádìí tí ó fani mọ́ra láti mọ iye wákàtí tí ó máa ń gbà láti di ọ̀rẹ́ ẹnìkan. Bi abajade, o wa ni pe a di "awọn ọrẹ" ni awọn wakati 50, "awọn ọrẹ to dara" ni awọn wakati 120-160, ati "awọn ọrẹ to dara julọ" ni awọn wakati 200 ti a lo papọ.
O wa ni pe okunkun ti awọn ibatan ọrẹ ko gba akoko diẹ, o nilo agbara ati idoko-owo ẹdun. Ṣugbọn gbogbo awọn "idoko-owo" wọnyi jẹ diẹ sii ju sisan lọ: ni ipadabọ, a ni rilara ti isunmọ, itunu, idunnu ti mọ ẹlomiran.
But before you «invest» in a relationship with another person, you need to make sure that he is worth it. There are people on whom you definitely don’t need to waste your time and energy — not because they are “bad” in themselves, but because relationships with them will hardly give you positive emotions.
1. Always «in need»
Such a person constantly needs other people, needs company, but at the same time he speaks mainly about himself, about his problems and needs. Something always happens to him, and his life is a continuous drama. And, of course, we feel sorry for the unfortunate in our own way, only it’s even harder for us: in such a relationship we get nothing in return — no warmth, no attention, no participation. Communication with him is exhausting and devastating.
2. Ẹdun nipa awọn ẹlomiran lẹhin ẹhin wọn
O le ni idaniloju pe ti ija ba wa laarin rẹ, eniyan yii ko ni ni igboya ati idagbasoke lati ba ọ sọrọ ni ojukoju. Rárá o, yóò sọ̀rọ̀ òfófó, yóò sì ba ọ́ lẹ́yìn rẹ̀.
Dajudaju, gbogbo wa, eniyan, jiroro ara wa, ko si gbigba kuro ninu eyi. Ibeere naa ni bawo ni a ṣe ṣe, pẹlu ifiranṣẹ wo, aniyan, kini awọn ọrọ ti a yan. Bí a bá yíjú sí àwọn ẹlòmíràn fún ìmọ̀ràn, ohun kan ni èyí, ṣùgbọ́n bí a bá kàn sáré lọ “yọ́” àti òfófó, òmíràn ni.
3. Ti ara ẹni
They are very similar to the “eternally needy”, since they only talk about themselves. True, the «obsessed» is not limited to complaints — he talks about his news and new clothes, about his appearance and life, about his work and interests. We are sure that such a “one-sided game”, where there is no place for dialogue and your interests, you will most likely get bored pretty soon.
4. Ṣiṣakoso
Such a person is accustomed to command, accustomed that everything should be as he says. And he is not at all ready to hear objections. He is usually a conservative, completely unwilling to compromise and flexibility. But God forbid you to tell them about it — he «always did, does and will do,» and there is nothing to teach him!
Narrowness of mind prevents the «controller» from building an open and joyful relationship. What’s there — sometimes it’s just unpleasant to communicate with such a person.
5. Patapata irresponsible
Jẹ ki a sọ ooto: gbogbo awọn ọrẹ ni igba miiran pẹ, ati ni awọn ọran alailẹgbẹ, diẹ ninu wọn paapaa ba awọn ero wa ru. Ati pe sibẹsibẹ a mọ pe ọpọlọpọ ninu wọn ni a le gbẹkẹle.
Total irresponsibility is another matter. Such a person is always late for 30-40 minutes, or even an hour. Regularly cancels appointments. Promises to call back and doesn’t. He forgets about important dates, and now and then he fails — in a word, you cannot build normal relations with such a friend.
6. Aṣeju idajọ
Again, we all discuss, judge, and criticize others at least once in a while. But there are people who harshly condemn others, simply because they are somehow “not like that” — they behave differently than our friends would like. They are “quick to kill” and deliver a ruthless verdict without having time to properly communicate with others, as they do not seek to better know the interlocutor, his history and motivation.
Pẹlu iru eniyan bẹẹ, ko ṣee ṣe lati ni ailewu ẹdun, nitori iwọ ko mọ igba ti igbi ti idalẹbi rẹ yoo kọlu ọ.
7. Ọlẹ pupọ
A lazy person is not necessarily a bad friend, and yet it happens quite often. If he doesn’t bother to do anything in other areas and constantly procrastinates, where is the guarantee that he won’t do the same to you and your friendship? It will seem to you that only you are trying to drag the «cart» of your relationship somewhere.
Gbogbo èèyàn ló mọ bí àwọn ọ̀rẹ́ tòótọ́ ṣe ṣeyebíye tó, ṣùgbọ́n àkókò wa kò ṣeyebíye tó. Lo o pẹlu ọgbọn ati ki o ma ṣe sọ ọ lẹnu lori awọn ti ko yẹ ọrẹ rẹ.