Awọn akoonu
A series of unsuccessful novels can deprive self-confidence. Journalist Christina Hain believes that the reason for failure is that we choose the wrong men. She compiled a list of five obstacles that prevent her from finding the right partner.
You meet a man, everything is going great. But at some point, an epiphany comes — he is not at all what you imagined. His image is a product of the imagination. He always ignored calls from his mother, never cleaned the bathroom sink. This relationship has no future, but you turned a blind eye to everything. Here are five reasons why this is happening.
You are blinded by charm
Imagine — you are having dinner with a new gentleman. You are delighted with him: he is so cute and constantly makes you laugh. Thanks to his charm, he will convince anyone that he is not guilty of anything. Charm is not a vice. But often it misleads us: we confuse charm and character.
He writes touching messages, makes his heart beat faster, winks cutely and looks amazing. We inevitably feel sympathy. We think he is perfect in every way. This is mistake. Cute gestures have nothing to do with moral principles.
Do not blindly trust the charms of charm. Better focus on actions. Pay attention to how devoted he is to his loved ones, whether he is honest with you and others, whether he keeps his promises.
Are you looking for men in the same place
You go to the same bars all the time, run the same route, spend your leisure time in the same way. No wonder you meet the same type of people. It’s not easy to change your schedule and get out of your comfort zone, but it’s necessary.
Changes in life will be beneficial. The next time you feel like going to a cafe to read a book, head to a museum. Start going to new places. Find a new hobby and sign up for courses. You may meet people you didn’t know existed.
You are ignoring the warning signs
With a cursory acquaintance, it is not easy to understand who is who, but alarming signals are always present. If you feel something is wrong when he says or does something, this is a wake-up call. Your intuition tells you to listen to it.
Reasons are different. Every evening after five he stops writing and calling. You’ve been dating for six months and he doesn’t introduce you to his friends. You notice things here and there that annoy or bother you. Be honest with yourself. You will save time and save yourself from mental trauma.
Are you sure you can change it
You noticed the warning signs and took them into account. What matters is how you do it. We all have faith that people can change for us. «If I mean something to him, he will change.» He can change, but only if he wants to. Your intentions won’t help. People often revert to old habits. Don’t be surprised when he gets back to who he was. Think about whether you are ready to accept it with flaws that are annoying. If not, it’s better to leave.
You fixate on criteria
You are looking for an outgoing guy who loves dogs, a man with an apartment who knows how to cook. You know what kind of person you need, that’s fine. But sometimes we get hung up on individual characteristics and miss the main thing. A set of positive qualities that looks beautiful on paper is not a guarantee of a happy relationship.
When meeting a new man, remember your criteria, but don’t let them become the deciding factor. Be open to new things. Perhaps the best match for you is a man you haven’t thought of.