Monique de Kermadec is categorical: “ it is a way of overprotecting the child. He knows he is being watched. The child will live under the fear of punishment, he will no longer know how to regulate himself in the face of danger. His vigilance will drop and he can really put himself in danger ”. On the side of the parent, we are in a desire for omnipresence “I am not there, but I am all the same there”. For the psychologist, on the contrary, the space of freedom between parent and child is necessary: “the child needs to live his life, to be differentiated from the parent. It is when the parent is absent that the child grows up and has his own experiences ”.
“Children must do stupid things”
For Michaël Stora, “this can encourage risky behavior in order to defy this excessive security. The child will want to transgress and maybe more dangerously ”. The psychologist explains that “we are in hyperparentality: parents want to control their child, and in return, to be loved. These connected objects foster parents’ fantasies of having control over their child’s life ”. For this specialist, “It is necessary for any individual to do“ stupid things ”, to want to go beyond the limits. Watching your child leaves no room for your own experience. If he wants to take a classmate home and goes out of his way, the parent will know within a minute. He will have to justify himself for what he is doing in real time. There is no more room for the unexpected ”. To the question of possible dangers such as kidnapping that could threaten the child, the specialist replies “that children are most often abducted by a relative who is familiar with the child’s habits”. Elodie, another mother also thinks that this kind of object can be useful “in a situation of distress” but that “we must be careful of possible abuses”.
Indeed, overseeing your child is not trivial.
Children need privacy
Mattieu, 13, has his opinion on the question: “It’s not a good idea. My relationship with my mother would really not be good. I wouldn’t want to be watched over everything I do. “On the other hand, for Lenny, 10 years old:” It’s not bad this GPS in the coat, like that, my mother knows where I am. But if I were bigger, I wouldn’t like it, I would think it was espionage ”. Virginie, a mother of two boys aged 8 and 3, explains that she is not ready to invest in these devices: “you have to put yourself in our children’s shoes, would you like your parents to know exactly what you are doing? to do and where? “.
Monique de Kermadec specifies ” in any case, parents should be reminded that the child needs privacy even if it is small. Connected objects are clearly experienced as espionage. It is important that the parent also speaks up to explain why he is watching the child ”. The specialist also evokes the problem of the protection of private life: “when you can connect remotely to this kind of tool, it implies that other people can do it”. An idea shared by Marie, another mother: “my children are 3 and 1 year old. I am for and against. With everything going on these days, being able to locate your child at any time is tempting. But I am against it because computer-wise it is not impossible that others (and not necessarily well-intentioned) can do it too. And the vigilance of parents should not be computerized ”.
Parents must empower their children
For Michaël Stora, these connected objects respond to “parental concerns”. This trend “is indicative of the difficulty some parents have in not being able to share everything with their child”. The psychologist also insists on “the importance for the child to exist outside the gaze of the parent. It is in this lack that individual thought is born. And theconnected objects create a permanent link, the parent is always present “. In other words, the child would no longer have room for his private life necessary for the construction of his personality. The psychologist believes that “parents must question their way of loving, of really accepting the autonomy of their child without wanting to monitor them from a distance”. In the end, parents are “educators, who must accompany the child and let him take his own flight”.