Iwọ kere - ati pe eyi ni agbara akọkọ rẹ

Who decides what our life will be like? Only ourselves! answers the Adlerian approach. Its founder, the Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler (1870–1937), spoke of the fact that everyone has a unique lifestyle that is influenced not so much by family, environment, innate characteristics, but by our «free creative power.» This means that each person transforms, interprets what happens to him — that is, he truly creates his life. And in the end, it is not the event itself that acquires meaning, but the meaning that we attach to it. A life style develops early, by the age of 6-8 years.

(Maṣe) fantasize nipa rẹ

"Awọn ọmọde jẹ oluwoye ti o dara julọ, ṣugbọn awọn olutumọ ti ko dara," ni Amẹrika ti o jẹ onimọ-jinlẹ Rudolph D. Dreikurs, ti o ṣe agbekalẹ awọn ero Adler ni arin ọgọrun ọdun to koja. Eyi dabi pe o jẹ orisun awọn iṣoro wa. Ọmọ naa farabalẹ ṣe akiyesi ohun ti n ṣẹlẹ ni ayika, ṣugbọn kii ṣe awọn ipinnu to tọ nigbagbogbo.

“Having survived the divorce of their parents, even children from the same family can come to completely different conclusions,” explains psychologist Marina Chibisova. — One child will decide: there is nothing to love me for, and I am to blame for the fact that my parents divorced. Another will notice: Relationships sometimes end, and that’s okay and not my fault. And the third will conclude: you need to fight and do so that they always reckon with me and do not leave me. And everyone goes further in life with their own conviction.

Diẹ ninu awọn fifi sori ẹrọ jẹ ohun todara. “Ọ̀kan lára ​​àwọn akẹ́kọ̀ọ́ mi sọ pé nígbà tóun wà lọ́mọdé, ó wá parí ọ̀rọ̀ rẹ̀ pé: “Mo lẹ́wà, gbogbo èèyàn sì gbóríyìn fún mi,” ni onímọ̀ nípa ìrònú náà ń bá a lọ. Nibo ni o ti gba lati? Idi kii ṣe pe baba olufẹ tabi alejò kan sọ fun u nipa rẹ. Ọna Adlerian tako asopọ taara laarin ohun ti awọn obi sọ ati ṣe ati awọn ipinnu ti ọmọ ṣe. Ati bayi relieves awọn obi ti awọn colossal ẹrù ti ara ẹni ojuse fun awọn àkóbá isoro ti awọn ọmọ.

Ọpọlọpọ awọn ipa diẹ sii ju ẹni kọọkan lọ, paapaa ohun ti o lagbara, awọn ọrọ obi. Ṣugbọn nigbati awọn ihuwasi ba di idiwọ, maṣe gba ọ laaye lati yanju awọn iṣoro igbesi aye ni imunadoko, idi kan wa lati yipada si onimọ-jinlẹ.

Ranti gbogbo

Iṣẹ ẹni kọọkan pẹlu alabara ni ọna Adlerian bẹrẹ pẹlu itupalẹ igbesi aye ati wiwa awọn igbagbọ aṣiṣe. Marina Chibisova ṣàlàyé pé: “Nigbati o ti ṣe iwoye pipe nipa wọn, onimọ-jinlẹ fun onibaara naa ni itumọ itumọ rẹ, ti n fihan bi eto igbagbọ yii ti dagbasoke ati ohun ti a le ṣe nipa rẹ,” Marina Chibisova ṣalaye. - Fun apẹẹrẹ, Victoria alabara mi nigbagbogbo nireti ohun ti o buru julọ. O nilo lati rii ohun kekere eyikeyi tẹlẹ, ati pe ti o ba gba ararẹ laaye lati sinmi, lẹhinna nkankan ninu igbesi aye yoo daamu dajudaju.

Lati ṣe itupalẹ aṣa igbesi aye, a yipada si awọn iranti akọkọ. Nitorina, Victoria ranti bi o ṣe n yiyi lori gbigbọn ni ọjọ akọkọ ti awọn isinmi ile-iwe. Inu rẹ dun o si ṣe ọpọlọpọ awọn eto fun ọsẹ yii. Lẹhinna o ṣubu, o fọ apa rẹ o si lo odidi oṣu kan ni simẹnti kan. Ìrántí yìí ràn mí lọ́wọ́ láti mọ èrò inú rẹ̀ pé ó dájú pé òun yóò “ṣubú kúrò ní yíyípo” bí ó bá jẹ́ kí ara rẹ̀ pínyà kí ó sì gbádùn ara rẹ̀.”

Lati loye pe aworan rẹ ti agbaye kii ṣe ohun to daju, ati ipari ọmọde rẹ, eyiti o ni yiyan gangan, le nira. Fun diẹ ninu awọn, awọn ipade 5-10 ti to, nigba ti awọn miiran nilo osu mẹfa tabi diẹ ẹ sii, da lori ijinle iṣoro naa, bi o ṣe buruju itan ati awọn iyipada ti o fẹ.

Mu ara rẹ

In the next step, the client learns to observe himself. The Adlerians have a term — «catching yourself» (catching yourself). The task is to notice the moment when an erroneous belief interferes with your actions. For example, Victoria tracked situations when there was a feeling that she would “fall off the swing” again. Together with the therapist, she analyzed them and came to a new conclusion for herself: in general, events can develop in different ways, and it is not necessary to fall off the swing, most often she manages to calmly get up and move on.

So the client critically rethinks children’s conclusions and chooses a different interpretation, more adult. And then learns to act based on it. For example, Victoria learned to relax and allocate a certain amount of money to spend it on herself with pleasure, without fear that «she will fly for it.»

“Ni mimọ pe ọpọlọpọ awọn ihuwasi ti o ṣee ṣe fun u, alabara naa kọ ẹkọ lati ṣiṣẹ ni imunadoko,” ni Marina Chibisova pari.

Laarin plus ati iyokuro

From Adler’s point of view, the basis of human behavior is always a certain goal that determines its movement in life. This goal is “fictitious”, that is, based not on common sense, but on emotional, “personal” logic: for example, one should always strive to be the best. And here we recall the concept with which Adler’s theory is primarily associated — the feeling of inferiority.

Iriri ti inferiority jẹ iwa ti olukuluku wa, Adler gbagbọ. Gbogbo eniyan ni o dojuko pẹlu otitọ pe wọn ko mọ bi / ko ni nkan, tabi pe awọn miiran ṣe nkan ti o dara julọ. Lati inu rilara yii ni a bi ifẹ lati bori ati ṣaṣeyọri. Ibeere naa ni pe kini gangan ni a rii bi airẹlẹ wa, bi iyokuro, ati nibo, si afikun wo ni a yoo gbe? O jẹ fekito akọkọ ti gbigbe wa ti o wa labẹ igbesi aye.

In fact, this is our answer to the question: what should I strive for? What will give me a sense of complete integrity, meaning? For one plus — to make sure that you are not noticed. For others, it is the taste of victory. For the third — a feeling of complete control. But what is perceived as a plus is not always really useful in life. The Adlerian approach helps to acquire greater freedom of movement.

Kọ ẹkọ diẹ si

O le ni oye pẹlu awọn imọran ti ẹkọ nipa ẹkọ nipa ọkan ninu awọn ile-iwe ti o jẹ eto lododun nipasẹ Igbimọ International ti Awọn ile-iwe Igba otutu Adler ati Awọn ile-ẹkọ (ICASSI). Nigbamii ti, Ile-iwe Ooru Ọdọọdun 53rd yoo waye ni Minsk ni Oṣu Keje ọdun 2020. Ka diẹ sii ni online.