Aabo ni ifẹ: Awọn imọran 7 fun awọn ọmọbirin

Good parents want the best for their children. And when a girl grows up in the family, their task is to prepare her for the first relationship, for the first love. And also — to its subsequent lessons, which each of us has to go through.

Our common future depends on whether we can raise strong, confident, happy and self-respecting young women capable of healthy relationships, says life coach and expert on working with women and families Samin Razzaghi.

Unfortunately, in the modern world, violence against girls and women continues, both physical and psychological. Girls are the most vulnerable victims, and it is up to the elders to help them avoid unhealthy relationships and learn to make the right decisions about their personal lives. Of course, men can also suffer from violence and abuse, but in this case we are talking about women.

According to RBC, only from January to September 2019, more than 15 thousand crimes in the field of family and domestic relations were committed against women in Russia, and in 2018, 21 thousand cases of domestic violence were recorded. In the United States, an average of three women die every day at the hands of a former or current partner. Statistics for other countries are no less, if not more frightening.

“Contrary to popular myths, domestic violence happens in families with different incomes and different nationalities,” Samin Razzagi explains.

At a certain age, teenage girls go through a stage where relationships with peers and potential romantic partners become a priority. And adults can help them learn how to build healthy relationships during this important period.

Samin Razzaghi offers seven «tips in love» that will be useful to every girl.

1. Gbekele rẹ intuition

For a woman, intuition is a powerful decision-making tool, so a girl should learn to trust herself. It is also an important way of knowing, but in our «male» culture, where logic and facts are valued, we ourselves break the connection of our daughters with this gift. Girls are often told that what they think is the right choice is illogical or irrational.

In dating, intuition can help girls avoid sexual pressure from peers, suggest the right choice of partner, and feel their limits. Parents can teach their daughter to rely on her inner compass by asking, “What does your intuition say?” or “What was your first impulse in that situation?”

2. Think critically

Girls should understand that their idea of ​​a healthy relationship is influenced by their information background — music, books, social networks, advertising. Role modeling or questions such as “What does it mean to be a girl in our culture?”, “How should dating be?”, “How did you know this?” etc.

To have critical thinking, according to Samin Razzaghi, is to ask yourself: “What do I consider to be true? Why do I believe it? Is it true? What’s wrong here?»

3. Understand the difference between infatuation and love

In the world of social networks and smartphones, this is especially important. Chatting in messengers and viewing other people’s posts create the false impression that we really know someone. However, the image of people in social networks does not always correspond to who they really are.

Girls should be taught to slowly get to know a person. They need to know that it takes time and effort to build relationships. Sometimes first impressions are intuitively accurate. At the same time, on dates, people try to show their best side, so there is no need to rush to get closer.

“People are like onions,” writes the author, “to learn the basic values ​​and character, you have to peel them layer by layer.” And it would be better to do without tears …

4. Realize that jealousy is not a sign of love.

Jealousy is control, not love. This is a major factor in violence in adolescent relationships. In healthy unions, partners do not need to control each other.

Jealousy goes hand in hand with envy. This feeling is based on fear or lack of something. Girls should know not to compete with anyone but themselves.

5. Do not compete with other women

You do not need to hate others yourself, both individuals and entire categories, and you should learn to ignore such characters. The collective task of women is to teach men how to treat them properly.

Just because a guy is cheating doesn’t mean the other girl is better. This means that he has problems with loyalty and honesty. In addition, he will most likely treat his new girlfriend in much the same way as the previous one, because the new one is no more “special” than the former.

6. Listen to your needs

Another gift that women have is the ability to empathize and show compassion, the ability to help others. This quality is necessary, but if a girl always sacrifices her needs, then sooner or later anger, resentment may accumulate in her, or she may become physically ill.

Parents need to teach their daughter that the only way to give something to others is based on understanding their needs and the ability to communicate them to a partner, accepting his refusal in some cases.

7. Put self love first

Because of their upbringing, most girls emphasize relationships more than boys do. This can be a precious gift, but sometimes it leads to self-destruction. Girls are often too worried about what they think. Growing up, they may worry about whether a man liked them before they realized How long they liked him. They help others at the expense of themselves.

Good parents teach their daughter healthy self-love. It means putting your own needs and well-being first, building a healthy relationship with yourself—changing, growing, maturing. This is the most important lesson for a girl to find strong and reliable relationships in the future, where there is a place for love and respect.

Being a parent of a teenage girl is sometimes hard work. But perhaps the best thing moms and dads can do is teach their daughters how to build normal relationships so that their first love becomes a safe and healthy experience.

About the expert: Samin Razzagi is a life coach, specialist in working with women and families.